Quotes

Chi: "I suggest you get a pint of vanilla ice cream, rent Casablanca, and call it a girl night in."
Me: "No wonder some girls get fat!"

Christine: "But the question is ARE YOU GAY?!"
Me: "I dunno. I don't think so. I like boobies."

Me: "Haha, you lameass, I wouldn't say 'hehehe'. You got-damn fruit."
Ray: "I dunno man, you're pretty fruity yourself."
Me: "I only do that to make you feel comfortable."
Ray: "Touché."

Ray: "All Frenchmen are gay."
Me: "No they're not, my dad's got a cousin who isn't."
Ray: "He's gay."
Si: "Well, besides Vietnamese people then."
Me: "Wait a minute, you think I'm Vietnamese this whole time?"
Si: "No, I'm just kidding. I know you're Korean."
Me: "Are you serious?"
Si: "North Korean, to be specific. "

Marie: "All I gotta say is that you guys are a weird bunch. Like you guys are smart and stupid at the same time."

Me: "Marie, you needn't be jealous of all the stuff I'm sending Wendy. It pales in comparison with the love I long to give to you!"
Marie: "You're such a dork!!!! Why don't you buy me some gifts and say that to Wendy instead??"

Me: "Doesn't that sound like porn music?"
Yiu Fai: "Uhh, I dunno dude... (pauses) I watch it without the sound."
Yvonne: "*SMACK!*"

Yiu Fai: "In nature, the more colorful things are, the more dangerous it is (points to Yvonne's floral print skirt)."

Me: "So you guys got two more years to go, right?"
Vic and YF: "At least!"
Me: "Same here!"

John: "I was gonna go to Chinatown with my mom but then she's going with that really fat and annoying woman."

Cassie: "I have to watch the games cuz I gotta know what kind of Monday I'm gonna have."

Dave: "We went on the wrong weekend. Turns out it's gay pride weekend or something like that."
Me: "And you guys are like 5 guys in one hotel room."
Dave: "I know! The hotel people must be wondering. We figured the city was sold out because of the tennis match."

Mark: "I will be out on Thursday as I have a mid day appointment to see if I can see the eye doctor ('what chart?')."

Wendy: "Have you ever said you were gay to ditch a girl?"
Me: "No, but that's a good idea!"
Wendy: "You are a dork and a pig!"

Me: "Tiffany (my baby cousin) looks up at me with vague eyes."
Wendy: "You look suspicious to her."

Marie: "Cash that check!"
Me: "I can't, it's void."
Marie: "No it's not!"
Me: "Yeah, it is!"
Marie: "You voided it!"
Me: "Heh heh... Yep!"

Yiu Fai: "It better not be in my corner."
Gary: "What's Yiu Fai's corner?"
Me: "It's his ass."
Gary: "That's not a corner, that's a crack!"

Wendy: "Hola."
Me: "Bon aprés-midi."
Wendy: "Wow... busting out French, huh?"
Me: "To counter your Éspanol. I can use romance (language) too y'know!"
Wendy: "Right... Thought you're not the romantic type."

Yiu Fai: "You know why??"
Yvonne: "*SMACK*"
Yiu Fai: "What?! I didn't even say anything!"
Yvonne: "Yeah but you were gonna say it!"
Yiu Fai: "Fine, cuz you're a woman!"
Yvonne: "*SMACK!* *SMACK!* *SMACK!* *SMACK!*..."

Me: "Time for lunch. Man all this 'managing' has got me hungry."
Wendy: "What's managing gotta do with lunch?"
Me: "I'm MIS!"

Jeff: "One third of my company hates me..."
Jim: "Are you sure? I think it's a little more than that."
Me: "You mean the whole two thirds?"

Gary's coworker: "Hey, in Canada, do you guys have July 4th?"
Boss: "Nah, up there we just go to sleep on the 3rd and when we wake up, it's the 5th!"

Chi: "Would you have sex with a girl who had a beautiful body, but an ugly face?"
Mike: "I'd just put a flag over her head and do it for my country!"

Chi: "You tip because you don't wanna look cheap. I don't care about looking cheap; I'm poor!"

Chi: "Guys are like parking spots. All the good ones are taken, and the rest are either too far out or handicapped!"

Me: "Want anything from London?"
Yiu Fai: "Yeah, bring me back some mad cow!"

Dave: "I'll have the fajitas for two."

Girl: "Hi! You wanna come hang out with us on Sunday or something?"
Dave: "You're with one of those church-things, aren't you?"

Vic: "My grandma asked what nationality you were, and I didn't know how to say 'Cambodian' in Cantonese, so I told her you're Vietnamese."

Marie: "I thought you said you're tired; aren't you going to sleep?"
Nara: "I thought you said you're fat; aren't you going on a diet?"

Yiu Fai: "Dammit, I'm starting to count like a woman now."
Me: "What do you mean?"
Yiu Fai: "I said there were 2 things and ended up with 3."

Yiu Fai: "Woman, you don't know shit; sit down before you hurt yourself!"

Vic: "You guys just aren't as licentious as I am."
Yiu Fai: "You're just horny man; stay away from me!"

Vic: "Hmm... I haven't taken the train in a long while."
Yiu Fai: "Yeah, that's cuz I've been driving your ass around!"

Me: "Y'know, I think I've spent more on my car than I have on Marie."
Yvonne: "I think Yiu Fai has spent more on computer stuff than me!"

Dentist nurse: "You must be a happy drunk."

Yvonne: "Aww, I want to go to a ball!"
Yiu Fai: "I'll give you a ball..."

Yiu Fai: "Hey look, we're both even... except we got 10 more points than they do..."
Me: "Uhh...?"

Guy 1: "Maybe I'll drink coffee AND jerk off to stay awake but keep myself calm."
Guy 2: "Well... I don't drink coffee."

Marie: "Why are you speechless? Are you fascinated with my argument?"
Me: "No!!"

Anonymous: "I'm physically needy; hormonally elevated. Not horny!"

Me: "You'd be the typical wife who can't cook."
Marie: "And you'd be the typical husband who won't help!"
Me: "Hey, I offered!"
Marie: "Yeah you said 'Need any help?' while you were on your way to the TV!!"

Gary: "I can't believe I didn't get into bowling (class)!"

Yu Heng: "There are three women you can't disrespect: Jenny Chou, Gigi Lai, and Lily."
Marie: "Oh, what about your mom then??"
Yu Heng: "Ahh, she's old..."

Toly: "You don't say the 'L'. Like, wanna go to the poo' haw'?"

Marie: "You must've laughed a lot as a baby."
Me: "If I saw a baby laughing all the time, I'd think that there's something in his food."

Yu Heng: "But when they do, it's buttmonkey!"

Tan: "Jin, remember what I taught you!"

Lily: "I've got work, and then at 6 I'm gonna pick mah bitch up at lab."

Marie: "Guys suck."
Me: "Why?"
Marie: "They just do."
Me: "Are you having your period again?"
Marie: "NO!!!"

Yiu Fai: "I always tell Yvonne that I'm the best, but she says I'm not. But I know I'm right and everyone else is wrong!"

Yu Heng: "Dammit, someone's lying to me, and that pisses me off!"

David: "If you're lying to me, then f*ck you!!"

Al: "So who do you hang out with now?"
Me: "Umm.... Marie... that's pretty much it."

Me: "If anyone asks how I got these scratches, I'll say 'Domestic violence. My domestic girlfriend was being violent.'"

Yvonne: "I'm gonna make you another scarf since you lost the other one."
Yiu Fai: "Oh, so now I have to lose this one too??"

Me: "What's your mom yelling and screaming about?"
Marie: "She's not yelling, she's just talking."
Me: "Oh, typical Chinese..."

Debbie: "Oh, it must've been a mis-key then."
Steve: "Ahh, Miss Key, I knew her once. She sat next to Miss Take."
Me: "Do you sit at home thinking up these things??"
Steve: "Heck no, I do it on company time!"

Me: "I'm sending her truffles."
Gary: "Aren't truffles mushrooms? Are you trying to get her high??"

Me: "She was looking at you."
Yu Heng: "No man, she was looking at you."
Me: "I know, I just didn't want you to feel bad."

Mike S.: "I couldn't read those (car magazines) 'cause it's like Playboy; I want 'em but I can't have 'em!"

Yu Heng: "No, I didn't want to go but James obviously has a crush on me so he bought me a ticket."

Me: "I went to get a drink... and I had to go to the bathroom at the same time. Is that counter-productive?"

Jennifer: "So how's the marathon?"
Mark: "Oh, just a bunch of people running by."

Panhandler: "Got any spare change, bro? You da man!"
Jimmy: "I know I'm da man, but I ain't got no spare change!"

Me: "Y'know, a lot of the Japanese girls have big ears too!"
Yiu Fai: "You should find yourself a Japanese girl then."
Me: "Nah... imagine the kids, their ears would be HUGE!"

Jimmy: "Everything about Japan is cool. I'd love to be Japanese. But then I'd be smoking like hell!"

Marie: "Where is Timbuktoo?"
Me: "Isn't that in Africa?"
Marie: "Yeah, but you're supposed to say it's between Timbuk-One and Timbuk-Three!!!"

Me: "Hey, I think Marie's teasing me!"
Uyen: "Marie's playing smart so you'll appreciate her."
Me: "See? Toldja, great girl!"

Marie: "Why do I bother telling you anything? I tell you once and you tell me fifty-thousand times!"

Marie's Dad: "(to me) Can you believe Marie talked to somebody on the phone for four hours straight?? That's like half a workday!"
Marie's Mom: "That somebody is him!"
Marie's Dad: "What do you guys talk about for four hours?!?"

Scott: "When you've got some downtime, it's time to get down!"

Me: "You would've gotten pulled over for reckless driving for that."
Jimmy: "Really?"
Me: "I dunno, that's what Yiu Fai said when I did it."

Yiu Fai: "I remember when Aquafresh wasn't approved by the ADA."
Me: "When you remember stuff like that, you KNOW you're old."

Me: "(on phone) Hey, Yiu Fai? Oh, sorry, I mean uhh, hey Jimmy?"
Jimmy: "Yeah, Yiu Fai. Sup man? (starts speaking Vietnamese) Why the hell am I speaking Vietnamese to you?"
Me: "See, I call you Yiu Fai, you speak Vietnamese to me, we both mess up!"

Maria: "How do you know you're allergic to seafood?"
Gary: "I ate some and went to the hospital!"

Doris: "I've driven stick-shift before."
Me: "Was it downhill with the car in neutral?"

Doris: "I put Rain-X on the car this morning."
Me, Yiu Fai, and Gary: "Oh, does it work??"
Doris: "It hasn't rained yet, idiots!"

Marie: "You should come over my house to eat everyday; my mom cooks a lot."
Me: "Hmm yeah, Yiu Fai's fridge looked a little empty... Ok, time to move!"

Jimmy: "So... you gonna play ball tomorrow dude??"
Me: "Oh, I got a splitting headache today man, you wouldn't believe!"
Jimmy: "No kidding I wouldn't believe!"
Me: "No, really though!"

Yiu Fai's Mom: "What does your mom cook at home?"
Me: "Uhh... I dunno, cuz I'm always eating here."

Yvonne: "These grapes taste sour."
Me: "No they're not. Dunno what you're talking about."
Yvonne: "Oh it must be cuz I'm so sweet."

Me: "Did you get your wisdom teeth removed?"
Yiu Fai: "No, cuz then I wouldn't have any wisdom."
Yvonne: "Yep, he got them removed!"

Yvonne: "Even Yiu Fai's grandmother is laughing at you now."
Me: "That's ok. Small price to pay!"

Maria: "I would have to hurt you."
Me: "But you said you would never want to hurt me."
Maria: "I wouldn't want to but I would have to, there's a difference."

Me: "Marie said 'City Hunter' is good."
Yiu Fai: "I said 'City Hunter' is good! No one listens to me. You only listen to Marie!"

Christine: "Man... you're some kind of dude!"

Me: "I fell asleep through Micro again today. Not enough ventilation, I swear..."

Doris: "I just took the Bitch Test, guess what I got?"
Doris's boyfriend: "You've gotta be at least a 50."

Me: "I can't believe we just walked into some alley in Cambridge..."
Yiu Fai: "It must be a nice neighborhood; look at all the graffiti on the wall!"

Doris: "Your last name is Peou?"
Me: "Yeah, you didn't know it? What did you think it was?"
Doris: "Oh, I thought it was Wong."

Maria: "I shouldn't have waited till the last minute to do this..."

Maria: "There's a restaurant named Pho 77. It's named after a famous restaurant in Vietnam named Pho 79."
Dave N.: "So... they were off by two?"

Gary: "Why don't you have a counter on your site? You'd probably have 10000, 1000 from me."
Me: "And 2000 from myself. What the hell do I need it for? Plus, I couldn't get it to work, so I said screw it."

May: "You can pick a girl and ask her to be your Valentine!"
Me: "Nah, that's tomorrow. She's in New York."
May: "Oh. 'She?'"
Me: "What, you expect me to make a GUY my Valentine?!"

Me: "Are you still going out with Eddie?"
May: "Does that matter?"
Me: "Nah, just making conversation so you can ask me who I'm going out with."

Me: "Why are you so mean today?"
Maria: "Well I'm on a roll, so why not?"

Me: "Just cuz you screamed out my name, it doesn't mean I'm gonna get you anything for Valentine's."

Me: "Hey, do you have that Vivian Lai song?"
Jin: "Uhh... you know that's not Korean right?"
Me: "Yes I know!"

Gary: "So you just doing homework now?"
Me: "HELL no!"

CompUSA manager: "What are you smoking, cuz it MUST be good!"

Wendy: "How come you're driving the Porsche?"
Anne: "Well, Dad took the Land Cruiser, Mom took the Jaguar, and I don't wanna drive the Benz or the Beamer, so I had to drive the Porsche."

Student: "Looks like you had one too many frosties."
Econ Prof: "Yeah... I probably did."

David N.: "I've got Vietnamese genetics, that's why I'm so skinny."

Computer Error Message: "Keyboard not detected. Hit F1 to continue."

Marie: "Kill me please!"
Me: "Sex?"
Marie: "I said kill me, not please me!"

Wendy: "Did you know Janie turned 21 yesterday? Guess what we'll be doing tomorrow night!"

Yiu Fai: "Wanna make your car a V6?"
Wendy: "How?"
Yiu Fai: "Put a V6 emblem on the back!"

Jimmy's Mom: "Look at you three, all with black hair. But Jimmy, brown hair, it's not right!"

Rich: " Your hair smells good."
Neida: "Really? I haven't washed it in about a week."
Rich: " Doesn't smell so good now."

Me: "Don't let me be a bad influence."
Wendy: "You're always a bad influence!"
Me: "I'm a bad boy."
Wendy: "You just wish!"

Tom: "Damn I can never make her laugh, no matter how stupid I am."

Lismarys: "Pass this slow car now!"
Me: "I can't, it's only one lane!"
Lismarys: "Pass him anyway!"

Jimmy: "Hey, have you guys seen Nara?"
Me: "Has anyone seen Tom?"
Tom: "Do you know where Jimmy is?"
Marie: "You guys are the three stooges!"

Marie: "My mom doesn't want you to be my boyfriend because she can't communicate with you."

Tim: "If you had this beautiful girl by your side, would you take her to check out computers at CompUSA?"
Dave H.: "I've done that once."
Tim: "You have?!"

Gary: "You said: *blah-blah-blah*."
Me: "Wait, I don't remember saying that!"
Gary: "Then say it now so you can quote yourself!"

Wendy: "When you're hyper it's a good time to do a lot of things."
Me: "A lot of things? Like what kind of things?"
Wendy: "Not what you're thinking of... again! I thought you were calm!"
Me: "I can still think about sex when I'm calm."

Me: "You wear PJs to sleep?"
Wendy: "Yeah, you wear a dress?"

Yiu Fai: "Which would you rather do: cook or wash dishes?"
Me: "Wash dishes!"
Yvonne: "Wash dishes!"
Doris: "Wash dishes!"

Maria: "Aren't there a lot of Vietnamese people in Malden?"
Tom: "Uhh... Jimmy."
Me: "And Jimmy's brother!"
Maria: "Shut up!"

Gary: "Wanna call it a day?"
Me: "It's night outside, we can't call it a day! We have to call it a night!"
Gary: "Wanna call it a day anyway??"

Me: "Times like these, I'm glad I don't have a girlfriend; otherwise my wallet would really hurt!"

Tom: "Look at those two (me and Marie), they're arguing like husband and wife."

Me: "Well, she probably has a boyfriend anyway."
Gary: "That's what you always say!"
Me: "It's to console myself, shut up!"

Me: "He says he thinks you're cute."
Marie: "Doesn't everyone think that?"
Me: "I dunno what the heck he's talking about, though..."

Gary: "In the morning I can hear your speakers even from my room!"
Me: "Wow, it's that loud?"
Yiu Fai: "Nah, I think they just use cheap walls!"

Me: "Damn that kid got a FREE Zip Drive that he doesn't even use!"
Jimmy: "You serious?! I PAY for everything I don't use."

Yvonne: "I used to think my friends are weird, but then I met Yiu Fai and you people and realized how normal they are."

Betty: "Can I bring my (Turbo) CD on Thursday?"
Me: "Sure, do what you want. But we'll be listening to S.E.S."
Betty: "How about we compromise?"
Me: "Ok. You drive, we listen to Turbo."
Betty: "OK!!"
Me: "YOUR OWN CAR!"

Betty: "I can tear down buildings, you know."
Me: "Those little Lego ones?"

Yiu Fai: "Anyone wanna try some tapioca?"
Me: "Didn't you ask me that once, and I ended up hating it?"
Yiu Fai: "Oh, no, that was something else!"

Wendy: "So did you see Princess Momoke? Namoko? Momomoke? Momoniko?"
Me: "It's Princess Mononoke."
Wendy: "Whatever!"

Jimmy: "My parents told me to stay home on New Year's Eve, and they said they weren't kidding!"

Me: "My cousin gave me a car kit she's not using, and it works! WOOHOO!"
David: "Now I won't die of classical overload when I'm in your car..."
Me: "It's gonna be a Korean overload instead!"

Gary: "Damn you should see Yiu Fai drive when he needs to get somewhere!"

Mary Little: "There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it."

Gary: "Did I tell you I got carded for a PG-13 movie??"

Me: "I figure if anyone's gonna call me, they'll call my cell. And sometimes I pick that up."

Me: "I know what sa-rang-he-yo means!"
Angela: "An-yeoung-ha-se-yo!"
Gary: "Maybe if I stand up I'll get this. Nope, still went over my head."

David: "So like this one time a guy came up to me and laughed at how weird I am and so I don't wear hats anymore."

Yvonne: "My legs are falling asleep."
Yiu Fai: "Oh, when do you want me to wake them up?"

Gary: "No one ever visits my site. I never update it either."
Me: "That's probably why!"
Gary: "What? There's a correlation between updating your page and the number of visits?!!?"

Wendy: "You should do more quotes where you're the one that's on the disadvantaged side too."
Me: "That's the advantage of being the one who updates this page!"

Wendy: "Yeah, college is definitely the time to experience."
Me: "Experience what, pray tell?"
Wendy: "Not what you're thinking of!"

Gary: "Wendy said she can be mean, if she wants to be a real b*tch."
Me: "Oh, I believe that!"
Gary: "Why, was she mean to you?"
Me: "No, cuz she's a girl!"

Wendy: "I shouldn't run for any government official things... probably say the wrong thing half of the time."

Gary: "If Yiu Fai and I weren't so corny, where would all the butter go??"

Jimmy: "Damn it's raining Tuesday and cold all week!"
Me: "What do you need it to be in the 70s for? So you can see Ann in a tank?"
Jimmy: "Which Ann, man?"

Wendy: "If you wanna learn Mandarin I'm always here."
Me: "That's right! And if you need to learn Khmer? I'll see when my parents are available."

Me: "Man, Eu Jin looks like she's having so much fun when she's shaking her butt like that!"

Me: "Can't wait to see me tomorrow? Unfortunately Jimmy's not gonna be there so it's just gonna be a one-man show."
Marie: "You mean 1/2 man?"
Me: "I was waiting for that!"

Gary: "You know what's worse than doing homework? Thinking about it!!"

Me: "You gotta come listen to my speakers, I don't think they sound right."
Jimmy: "I dunno man, I think you've got the keenest hearing out of all of us."
Me: "Hey, you making fun of my ears?!?"

Me: "I have to enter a quote before I forget it. Damn, I forgot it!"

Wendy: "It's not like you're OBSESSED (with Korean music) right??"
Me: "Course not! (To Jimmy:) Hey, we're not obsessed, are we?"

Wendy: "I'm sure you'll get another flower to hang. Doesn't mean I'm gonna get you one, ok??"

Jimmy: "I went out and got milk today, Mom."
Jimmy's Mom: "Oh, good boy!"

Me: "Hey, tell me who is better: Fin.K.L or Britney??"
Jimmy: "Aww man!!! Why are you gonna make me choose??"

Marie: "She doesn't look anything like me!"
Me: "Well, blur your eyes and move back... about 4 feet from the monitor. Does she look like you now?"

Wendy: "Guys always give flowers when they do something wrong."
Me: "Nah, I do LOTS wrong and I get away with it!"

Wendy: "Can I ask you a question? Of course I can, because I will even if you say no!"

Me: "I'm gonna go to class, come home, and sleep!"
Marie: "You can join the group now."
Me: "I always did that. Usually in the wrong order, or maybe skipping the 'going to class' part."

Me: "Dezzy got me thinking about taking Japanese."
Marie: "How?"
Me: "She said, 'Hey take Japanese!'"

Me: "If you did have a site, what would you call it? Mine is Narkturos and Jimmy's is Nogias."
Yiu Fai: "No idea."
Me: "Noidea? Sounds cool, 3 Ns."

Nancy: "You can call me Flip and I can call you Cambo!"
Me: "How about I DON'T call you Flip and you DON'T call me Cambo?"

Me: "Which one do you think is the cutest?"
Jimmy: "Dude, I'm still confused about who's who!"

Timmy: "*Blah-blah-blah*"
Jimmy: "Y'know what Timmy?"
Timmy: "You don't care."
Jimmy: "That's right!"

Me: "Wow that blows!"
David: "Doesn't it? And this type of blowing doesn't feel the least bit good."

Albert: "Aren't you supposed to be wearing a turban or something?"
Nawal: "It's called a hijaab!!"

Yiu Fai: "She ain't that bright so don't make it too complex when you explain."

Me: "Maybe we should see what Yu Heng's up to."
Jimmy: "Why, what's he doing?"
Me: "That's why we have to see what he's up to!"

Me: "Do you ever eat on the floor?"
Yiu Fai: "Yeah, man, it's the biggest table in the house!"

Dave (N.): "Hey, I raced someone today. Now my record is 0-5!"

Yiu Fai: "Oh, I read that in ."
Me: "Ahh, see I didn't read that far."
Gary: "Too many words in the way?"

Joanne: "If you were offered $50,000 to do porn, would you do it?"
Albert: "Well.... it's $50,000!"
Joanne: "Asshole!"

Tarik: "God I'm beautiful. If I were a girl I'd go out with myself!"

Albert: "May your camel not produce as much milk this year as it did the last."

Albert: "I'm wearing different colored socks, black and blue. They looked the same this morning."

Lily: "So you have your license already?"
Karen: "No, I don't need one."
Lily: "Why not?"
Karen: "Cuz I never get pulled over!"

M. Crichton's dad: "Be careful about 'obviously.' If it's really obvious you don't need to say it, and if it's not obvious it's insulting to say that it is."

Logic Prof.: "When people fell asleep in my class I used to get mad. Now I just feel envy."

Karen: "Yeah, I think the fish is dead."
Lily: "Move over, let me see!"
Karen: "Lily, are you morbid??"

Feng: "I gotta go do CS. It stands for Commit Suicide."

Me: "Hey, you said all I have to do in this class is take good notes. So I'm taking Neida's notes!"

Magazine ad: "It's not pre-marital sex if you don't plan on gettin married."

Nawal: "Well, when you get married your nuts are no longer yours anyway."

Nawal: "See at least Nara's smart, he knows he should just shut up."

Marie: "Just because he was in the military doesn't mean he can't be a dork."
Farrukh (pointing at Nowie): "Yeah, I mean, whatsisname is in the Navy right?"

Japanese motto: "Business is war."

Maria: "Nara Nara Banana..."
Me: "I'm tellin ya, that doesn't rhyme!"

Yu Heng: "Hey, let's take the turtle out of its shell and see if it can swim without it!"
Me: "You idiot, you can't take a turtle out of its shell!"

Lily: "Go ahead, call me Piggy! Call me Piggy all day long!"

Chinese class prof: "So, why do you want to take this class?"
Student: "Well, I wanna know what my parents are saying when they're pointing and laughing at me!"

Mercedes-Benz Engineer (about power windows): "If they can't crank a window they shouldn't be driving!"

Yu Heng: "A long distance relationship is all the responsibility with none of the rewards."

Jimmy: "I'm still waitin' for Britney... Damn, seems like all I do is wait for her. Shoot, that poster better come!"

Eugene: "Like they say: even a broken clock is right twice a day."

NU Student: "You can't learn it unless you love it. And you can't love it unless you feel it. Can you FEEL it?!?"

Yvonne: "Yiu Fai's not going to see any naked women besides me!"

Trung: "Super exe? Is that a file?"

David: "I saw live naked women and I screamed like a dog!!"

Feng: "Yeah, I love to sleep. Blame it on BLS."
Me: "I wholeheartedly do!"
Feng: "Me too, I blame all of my problems on that. I'm short cuz of the heavy bags, crazy because of all the work."

Me: "There were 4 people and 2 beds, you do the math."
Nawal: "So there was an empty bed!"

Jimmy: "*&!@% adulthood man! Damn I hate this shit!"

Jimmy: "Hey *blah-blah-blah*? Sorry, I dunno why I always ask that..."

David: "Jimmy is my bitch. Ok so he's not. He knows what he is to me. Don't you bitch?"

Lily: "Stop! I don't wanna hear anything rated 'R'."
Jason: "You mean rated 'Rosie'?"

Sandra: "Boston Bowl... ahhh... the memories... it's an Asian meat market there. Actually, now that I think of it... Asians don't have much meat..."

Gary: "'Friends' is on right now. I like watching it."
Me: "I don't watch it. We've got our own thing. We're like the Asian version of 'Friends!'"

Waitress: "And would you like the soup or the salad with your meal?"
Gary: "Yes."
Waitress: "No no, you have to pick one or the other."
Gary: "Can I get the baked potato?"
Waitress: "That already comes with your meal."
Gary: "Uhh.... fine, soup."
Waitress: "Which soup?"
Gary: "Whatever!"
Waitress: "*gives Gary a mean look...*"

Jimmy: "Hey man, I'm supposed to be your bitch, you're making me look bad!"

Yu Heng (in Montreal): "It looks so American here."
someone: "Hey there's the Gap."
someone else: "And an Urban Outfitter's too!"
Gary: "Look, a Canadian flag, what's that doing here??"

Jimmy: "Y'know, I betcha if you were a girl you would've gotten laid by now."

Wendy: "*blah-blah-blah* Wait, that didn't make any sense."

Me: "Hey, is there a Wendy's down there in your neighborhood?"
Wendy: "Actually, yes. A couple."
Me: "Do your buds mess with you about that?"
Wendy: "Occasionally."
Me: "Cuz I think I would if I could :-þ."

Betty: "Hey I saw your sis in front of the BPL (Boston Public Library) the other day."
Me: "Library? That's odd..."
Betty: "She was returning some books."
Me: "BOOKS?! She has BOOKS?!"

Wendy: "There's a saying, but I forget..."

Lily: "I better watch out tomorrow."
Me: "Why?"
Lily: "Cuz I know I'm due for my beating."

Jimmy: "You know the way?"
Me: "Yeah, sure. Try going straight. (We subsequently come to a dead end in a questionable neighborhood)"
Me: "Yeah, maybe we should turn back now. Take your first right."
Jimmy: "No, that's enough outta you!"

Me: "If I'm 30 and still unmarried, then I'm gonna panic and call her."
Yu Heng: "Here's a tip: look under Ruan."

Me (to Chi): "I think there's a stain on your skirt."
Nawal: "Yeah right, you just wanna check out her ass!"

Rich: "Wow, look at her. She's being all serious and quiet."
Me: "She's trying to be German."
Lismarys: "Exactly! See, HE knows what I'm doing!"

Jimmy: "Hey, wanna go bowling with us on Friday?"
Yiu Fai: "Nah, I'm hanging with my friends."
Jimmy: "What the hell are WE?!?!"

Gary's boss: "Hey, Friday nights at our company are 'Beer Blasts.' Wanna come?"
Gary: "I'm not legal."
Boss: "It's ok, they don't check IDs."

GE 1101 Prof.: "All I have to say is 'Boo-Hiss!'"

David: "Why don't I have a quote on your webpage??"
Me: "Ok, give me one."
David: "Ok ok, I got one. *blah-blah-blah* No wait, it sounded much better in my head..."

Jo: "Smiley says ... ummm ... keep the grass long and water coming."

Me: "You're a nut, Jo. A NUT!"
Jo: "Thanks .. and you're a wheelbarrel with holes in it."

Everyone: "What's your dog's name?"
Lismarys: "It's Chispa. It means sparkle in Spanish"
Me: "Eh, I'll just call her cheesepuff."
Al (to the dog): "You're a cheesypoof! You know, if I were Eric Cartman, I'd eat you."
Jimmy: "What? Her name is G-Spot?!"

GE 1101 Prof.: "So what are we gonna use to solve this homework?"
Student from the back: "Vivarin!"

Same prof.: "No, we don't do drugs. We'll use... a matrix! What is a matrix?"
Another student: "It's a system against us!"

Albert: "Damn, that's another thing I said I wouldn't do..."

Nawal: "There's just something about a man in uniform that makes you wanna take him right out of it!"

Matt: "It ain't easy being DBZ"

Me: "Is that a new shirt, Al?"
Albert: "Yeah it is, Jo bought it for me."
Danny: "Look at it, no wrinkles, it MUST be new!"

Albert: "I am the DIVA QUEEN!!!"

New May (May C.): "My mother said never marry an EE major."

Dopey: "See, that's why girls suck, 'cuz they manipulate you. Look at her, she's doing it right now!"
Me: "Is it working?"
Dopey: "... yeah."

Jimmy: "Aww, how come I never get to win at scrubball??"

Brian: "You have homework?? What are you, nucking futs?"
Me: "No, we're engineers."

Maria: "Hey, those girls were Vietnamese; I could understand them swearing at each other!"

Jimmy: "Big Keeng, no peeekels!"

Christine: "Huh?? What??"

Dezhen: "That's da bomb diggity!"

Nick: "Suck it!"

Nick: "Ok, from now on, my shit's hot, everyone else's shit is trash."

Stacy: "How would YOU like it if someone whipped you?!?"

Albert: "Bhumie Bhumie bo boomie banana fana..."

William Wallace: "Every man dies, but not every man really lives."

Spock: "Live long, and prosper."

Zephram Cochrane: "Don't try to be a great man, just be a man and let history make its own judgements."

Anonymous: "Always tell the truth, because then you make it the other person's problem."

Anonymous: "Never trust anything that bleeds for five days and still doesn't die."